Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
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