Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
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