she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
