I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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