it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize
