You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
