How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
