I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
