apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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