i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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