butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
