i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
