is your mom at the bar?
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize