I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize