Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
