that's an acceptable place to lick
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Randomize
