I wish I could teleport
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
