I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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