Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize
