When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
You are the jesus of drinking
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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