Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize
