Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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