It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
