people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
