You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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