One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
