so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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