So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
