in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Randomize
