Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Randomize
