Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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