we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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