Porn is love you can see.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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