you didnt know i had herpes?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
