So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize