I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
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