I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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