Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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