There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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