can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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