i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
