there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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