New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
