sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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