dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
