i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
