I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
