i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
