i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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