Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
