i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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