Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
