so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
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