talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
