Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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