I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
