we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Pants 0. Shit 1.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Randomize
