I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
