I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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