smell my finger.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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