Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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