id be glad to
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
