My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
