Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Still dying that you shit outside
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
