he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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