I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize