real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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