so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
