just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
