Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
My feet surprised me
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
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