I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
