like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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