he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
