Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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