I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
The struggles of a small town man whore
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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